once before or several times

i can recall having visited this guy or girl’s apartment once before, but i don’t remember when. i think it was a party, which is natural to think as i rarely visit people i don’t know except for parties. and because it was a strangers party (we assume it was a party and that the guy or girl who owns this place is someone i don’t know. would be so embarrassing to forget about a person that i know. i’ve done it before, i forgot about a person i went on vacation with one summer. we were in italy, maybe five people in total, but i have always thought it was four, including myself, since i never include myself in the memories of trips to the beaches and all the meals and walks, i only watch four people around me and conclude we are four. i don’t have any photos of the five of us together – i would never ask a stranger to take my photo. it embarrass me just as much as asking people to pose for a photo, so most of the photographs from that summer capture people’s backs – either walking or sun bathing – or myself in the mirror at the bathroom, naked. i would notice if the photos were taken after or before a shower: with a towel wrapped around my head and my body shiny from the sunscreen or body oil, or with straight and dry hair and dry skin. in the morning, before i take a shower or put on moisturizer or whatever, my skin is dry, but still so smooth and even, like some kind of expensive paper. i love to lay my cheek at my bare shoulder and just stroke it. it feels good and smells good – especially in italy, when my skin smells like sun in the morning. i don’t notice it though the day, as i probably get so used to it or get too knocked out by it. i tend to become angry at the sun during the day when i’m in italy, for instance, because it is too hot to move and i love to go for walks in the daytime when people are having their siestas. do they have siestas in italy as well as in spain? do they call it something else or the same? it’s a bit like walking in the night time, just that it is in the day time. i was just so shocked when someone mentioned this person to me a little while ago, the one i really just remembered as someone else’s ex, and as someone i never really knew or spent any time with. i assume i didn’t knew her well enough in italy to take a lot of obvious pictures of her) i assume i was quite drunk, but you can’t always tell or recall whether you were drunk or not. however, i used to be good at it -i had a specific sign that i always would try to take into consideration – whenever i made spelling mistakes, i had to stop. unfortunately, this became a bad habit and started to happen as soon as i was in a new crowd (including alcohol ofc) and i felt a little nervous. i would take one sip and start to klutz.

yet it was nice to be back in this apartment, because it was a nice apartment and the smell was nice and i felt a little at home as i remembered the different rooms and remembered hanging around and going to the bathroom with different girls and one boy i didn’t know. unfortunately, i don’t remember faces or names, so i can’t look them up and ask them or ask them about this apartment if we happen to run into each other again. i remember the people dressing really cool, but this was quite a while ago and now those clothes are trendy and mainstream, so they would be impossible to spot based on their clothes. i thought i was one of those people who never forgot about things, especially people, and i would rather try not to think about being wrong.