Goodbye!

My humblest thanks to all of you for your continued readership and support. It’s been an awesome journey, but sad to say, as with all journeys and lives, they come to an end. My life changed 360 degrees this summer. I lost both my dearest dog and my dearest mom within just three weeks. Every single day, I wake up believing that it was merely a nightmare until I pick up my phone to FaceTime with my mom, because that’s what we used to do when I was too lazy to get out of the bed in the mornings, and realize that the last call was made a month ago. As you might have gleaned from reading this blog, they were so important to me that a life without them was completely unimaginable. Yet here I am…. so I guess you all understand why right now it feels so terribly meaningless and utterly absurd to have a blog, to carry on with the things I like, to be excited about anything, to be the child I used to be before cancer took my mom away from me and my family.

I never showed mommy this blog because I was so embarrassed but I think she knew about it. Parents, you know… A few days before her funeral, I looked through all the pictures on her computer and came across an extremely awkward outfit picture of me with an anonymous bunny face. That was kind of really mortifying in a good way.

I will still be on instagram (@bonjourtristesse) because that’s one of the few things that honestly keeps me sane these days… and maybe I’ll revive this blog in a few years since it seems like I’ve got some real issues with keeping my hands off the “create a new blog” button.

Goodbye <3

109 thoughts on “Goodbye!

  1. Oh no, I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. I remember the bunny picture, perhaps that picture put a smile on your mom’s face and that’s why she kept it saved on her computer. I wish you all the best Dear Fleurette in your life and studies.

  2. I’m so sorry for your unimaginable losses. Take all the time you need, not just to return to blogging, but to return to or to start anything. You get a free pass for a while, tell them I said so.

  3. Truly sorry to hear about your loss. Your blog was a game changer for me and, I’m sure, a lot of other people. I really enjoyed reading it and now wish you the very best for the future and for anything you want to do from now on!

    • I agree with Christine here wholeheartedly. I mean, gosh, this sucks. I was trying to think of something nice and touching to say across the internet to you, and what I would want said to me, and I could only come up with “how totally crap” and “keep on going”. Your instagram feed (beautiful by the way) proves what a strong person you’ve proven to be. Good luck with the future, thanks for giving me a new perspective and take care.
      Lots of love.

  4. I am so sorry.
    I have only followed you blog for a short time but I find you highly inspirational and truly unique. Thank you for sharing.
    I wish you all the best.

  5. I don’t really know what to say, except that I hope you will be able to find meaning in your life again. It’s been wonderful knowing you through this blog. Take care. There will be other worlds to sing in.

  6. I wish you the happiest life possible. Travel as much as you can, eat delicious stuff as possible as you can, spend a lot of great times with your friends, and dress yourself with a LOT OF APC clothes!!!! I will truly miss Dead fleurette.

  7. Jeg kondolerer så utrolig mye, TK. JEg sier som Pauline C; I wish you the happiest life possible. Med god mat, gode venner, familie og reising. Ta vare på deg selv og dine nærmeste, og så er det selvsagt bare å skriv til meg på fb hvis du vil snakke om crazy asian genes – anytime <3

  8. I am not going to lie, i cried when i read this post – Im truly sorry for your lost. All I just want to say is that this blog you have created and been writing have been a big inspiration for me – you have no idea how many times i have been reading your posts over and over again.
    With your influence, you have actually helped me to find “what is me” in fashion and funny enough, I’m helplessly addicted to cheeseburger and A.P.C. but thankfully my “perfect wardrobe” is establishing though i have a long way to go.

    I wish nothing than the best in your life and it has been a pleasure to get to know you and be a part of your life through this wonderful blog. Thank you so much for this blog and good luck with your studies. Take care

  9. I can’t even begin to fathom your loss. I am sending you all of the love from the other side of the world. I hope your trip to America alleviated the pain even the tiniest little bit. I’m so sorry. I’m really going to miss this blog. xxx

  10. I am so sorry to hear about your mom. I wish you strength and hope you find joy as time passes. It’s heartbreaking to lose someone so early in life…
    I will miss your voice, but I completely understand your reasons for stepping away. Wish you the very best for the future. Hugs, A xoxo

  11. I lost my mom to cancer a month ago, so I guess I can imagine how you feel. I totally get where your decision is coming from, but on the other hand I think it’s important to have an outlet of some sort.
    My mom was not shallow by any means, but even at her weakest she tried to set aside some time (and strength) for a face mask or a pedicure. Maybe it sounds stupid, but it helps me a bit – makes me think she would approve of seemingly meaningless, shallow things I do, encourage me to pursue them.
    Take care of yourself and thank you for your blog.

  12. Det er så mye bedre ordforråd for å kondolere på engelsk enn på norsk, men jeg ville bare gi en liten beskjed om at jeg håper du etter hvert, sakte men sikkert, blir glad av ting igjen. En av mine nærmeste venner mistet moren sin til kreft for to år siden, og han sier det utrolig nok blir bedre selv om man ikke tror det er fysisk eller psykisk mulig. Kan ikke forestille meg hvor jævlig det må være nå selv om man har visst det skal skje. Jeg vil bare formidle at jeg synes du er utrolig flink til å skrive og har stilsans av en annen verden. Som du har skrevet selv må man gjøre plass til de “frivolous”e tingene i livet også, selv om jakten på noe vakkert er langt fra lettsindig, spør du meg. Oi, dette ble langt og jeg kjenner deg ikke en gang. Bare enda et tegn på at man føler for å gi noe tilbake til en blogg som har gitt en så mye (selv om jeg aldri har kommentert tidligere, ehe), spesielt når noe så forferdelig har skjedd med deg. Ønsker deg alt godt og vet du kommer til å gjøre fantastiske ting i livet!

  13. I am so sorry for your loss. I have not yet had the experience of losing a parent, but I have seen for friends that it’s a profoundly disorienting experience. You should do whatever you need to get through it.
    I will miss your blog while you are away and hope that you will return.

  14. Kondolerer så mye Fleurette. Dette var alltid en av favorittbloggene mine, men jeg skjønner godt at du vil legge tastaturet til side for en stund. Ønsker deg så mye lykke til videre, og kommer fortsatt til å følge med på Instagram. Mange klemmer fra Bergen.

  15. I wish you could feel any better because i know how it have to be hard to face things like this. You have to be strong and remember that your mum is still with you, she will take care of you and admire you, just from different place now…remember all of the great moments with her and try to be good with yourself, i suppose she would want that for you. You will always have us also! I pray for peace of your mind, hugs!

  16. I’m so sorry for your loss. A woman that raised such a creative, intelligent, witty and thoughtful young woman as you must have been truly special herself – and of course, a mother is always special to her daughter. I have enjoyed your blogging a lot, and I must say that it has changed my view on style and consumption in a really good way. I hope to see you around again.
    All the best to you and your family!

  17. I have loved and read your blog for a long while now and am very sad to hear about your losses. I hope all the best for you… Seing all the other comments, you touched us all deeply with your not so futile blog and it was really nice to see someone/something real for once in all these fashion blogs. still, hope you will find, even if in a far future, a way back for another revival and I will keep an eye opened for you best wishes

  18. I’m sorry for your losses. Thank you for your writing, it has been a pleasure reading & helped a lot to redefine my wardrobe & my spending habits & the way I “consume”. All the best on your future journey.

  19. I am so very sorry for your losses, and sorry to see you go! You touched many lives, brought lots of smiles, and inspired new ways of thinking – and that will never be meaningless or absurd! Take the time you need to mourn and heal and know that your loyal readers will welcome you back anytime. All the best to you and your family during this difficult time.

  20. I am so terribly sorry.
    I can’t imagine how devastated you must feel, all my thoughts go to you and your family.

    Take care, I’ll be following your exquisite taste on everything on Instagram, hoping to see there that you are starting to feel better.
    Be patient, time will help. It doens’t cure, but it soothes our pains.

    Des bisous de France xxx

  21. So sorry for your losses,my thoughts are with you and your family…
    I have thoroughly enjoyed your blog and hope you come back someday…your advice and style ate a great influence on many to “buy less-buy better”
    I wish you peace and happiness in all your endeavors..

  22. Som de andre skriver, er din blog noget for sig selv i en blogverden der dyrker et voldsomt stort forbrug. Jeg har nydt at læse den. Den er en favorit. Din blog er ikke en man scroller igennem, tak for det.

    Dit tab gør mig ondt. Det i føler kan ikke beskrives med ord. Ønsker alt godt for dig og din familie i fremtiden. Natten er allermørkest lige før solen står op.

    xxx

  23. I’m so sorry to hear about you mom and pup, Fleurette. I lost my dad this April, and it is very hard to keep up with the old habits and haunts. It is a new kind of normal that we have to readjust to, and everything seems to just lie around us in millions of tiny pieces.
    But eventually those pieces will begin to collect themselves together and reform. You will carry her with you always.

    Best of luck my friend, in all that you do xxx

  24. how sweet that your mom (maybe) was creeping on your blog. i have thoroughly enjoyed reading your blog and will miss your updates. see you on instagam. xoxoxo

  25. Fleurette,
    My sincerest condolences. I’ve always enjoyed reading your blog. You’re a wonderful writer and spirit and I’ll truly miss reading your posts.
    I cannot even fathom the experience you’re going through, but I hope you stay strong and keep striving. :)

  26. My sincere condolences for your loss, losing a parent is indeed a terrible hardship and a very marking moment of life. Thank you very much for these years of blogging, I am sure many readers have been positively influenced by your approach, I know I have, and I can’t be grateful enough to have stumbled upon your little space when I needed it. I hope you recover from this huge life change and that you will grow beautifully, I am sure your mother would want you to carry on happily with your life.
    All the best for your life journey :)

  27. Kjære Fleurette. Jeg kondolerer så mye. Du har vært en stor inspirasjon for meg og jeg kommer til å savne innleggene dine. Jeg ønsker deg alt godt for fremtiden. Lytt til deg selv, gi deg selv tid til å fordøye alt. Vi sees på instagram (og forhåpentligvis på en blogg en gang i fremtiden). Kjærlighet & varme til deg.

  28. Just wanted to chime in here with everyone else. I lost my father 10 years ago, and I remember the pain and the heartache and disbelief like it was yesterday. At times it even feels like it was yesterday, and I still do occasionally wake up thinking, I should call him today, only to remember I can’t. I will say though that it gets better. It gets easier. It gets lighter and easier to breathe. But not for a long time. So hang in there and do whatever you need to do through this process. Makes perfect sense to leave the blog, god knows I stopped so many things that just seemed empty suddenly. But then again, if you ever want to come back to blog because you want a frivolous distraction, that’s fine too. And you will have a supportive community here waiting with (virtual) open arms if and when you come back. My thoughts are with you.

  29. My condolences to you and your family on your great loss. I can’t think of anything more to say except thank you for blogging and sharing a slice of your life with us. Take care.

  30. Å jeg er så dypt lei meg på dine vegne. Jeg kan ikke en gang fatte hvordan du har det nå. Men jeg (og veldig mange andre) føler med deg og tenker på deg. Du har inspirert meg til en smartere og mer kvalitetsbevisst garderobe og det er jeg evig takknemlig for. Kommer til å savne deg, håper du kommer tilbake. <3

  31. Jeg har fulgt bloggen din i ganske mange år nå, med stor glede. Hver gang jeg ser på bloglovin ar du har skrevet et innlegg blir jeg så innmari glad, fordi jeg vet at det alltid venter et velskrevet, gjennomtenkt og tankevekkende innlegg. I dag ble jeg veldig, veldig trist.

    Du har inspirert meg. Jeg håper at du, med tid og stunder, finner tilbake til gleden ved å skrive. Jeg håper også at du finner tilbake til det viktigste av alt: Hverdagsgleden.

  32. So sorry for your loss. Thinking of you and always enjoyed reading your blog silently. You seem like a wonderful person and I wish you all the best in life. I am sure you will find happiness again. LOVE

  33. Dear Fleurette, I will pray for you and your Mom tonight, even though we never met. I do hope that one day the pain you feel now will ease. Big hug from Poland

  34. I don’t comment often on blogs, but I just wanted to let you know that I have really enjoyed your thoughtful posts and will miss your voice on the internet.

    Also I am so sorry to hear about your mother passing, it is a void that can never be replaced. Dealing with grief is hard, although I believe it makes us more tender to the suffering of others. Just remember she will always be a part of you and in that sense isn’t gone completely. I wish you the best in your next chapter.

  35. My condolences to you and your family. I know what you were going through for the last couple of years as my mother was diagnosed with an untreatable disease last year. Makes me think that even smallest contributions like doing protein folding simulation through distributed computing can make a difference.
    Hang on and good luck with your studies!

  36. I’m really sorry to see your blog end. I really enjoyed reading your writing and looking at your photos.

    My deepest condolences for your losses. Life just f’in sucks sometimes but tragedies can make you stronger. Good luck in all your future endeavors!

  37. I am so deeply sorry and shaken to hear this news. I know nothing anyone can say or do will help and the question of why is unanswerable. I do want to tell you that you will get through it. You will find ways. One thing that helped me was to create some new habits and routines. Your loved ones will always be with you.

  38. Damn. Wow. I’m basically speechless. I am so sorry for your loss and I wish you the very best for you. I have a shit phone right now but I do plan to get a smart phone in the future, which will give me access to Instagram finally. See you there!

  39. I’m terribly sorry to hear about your loss, Fleurette. I cannot begin to think how you must be feeling, and I just hope you’re well surrounded and well-cared for. Please do take good care of yourself, and thank you for so many years of excellent blogging. xox

  40. I am truly sorry to hear about your loss. I have been following your blog for years now and it has always been one of my favorites. It has helped develop a whole new attitude to shopping, getting dressed, and life in general, bringing me peace (no more frantically trying out a million things and disapproving of them all) and confidence, and a feeling of balance that has crept into other parts of my life as well. So here is a big thank you for all of that.
    I will be thinking of you and wish you all the strength, courage and wisdom you need for your recovery (although you may not be thinking about recovery just yet), and truly wish you will find a way to be happy again.
    I will keep your in my bloglovin list and hope to find a blogpost from you again sometime in the future, whenever it feels right for you, however long from now it may be.
    Take care x

  41. Tirsdag 13.08.13 leste jeg avskjedsinnlegget ditt her og tenkte at jeg forstod alt det du skrev veldig godt, for jeg hadde nemlig fått vite at broren min har kreft. På onsdag 14.08.13 fikk jeg vite at broren min var død.
    Jeg vil bare si takk og take care – det har vært en glede å lese dine tekster. Jeg håper det kommer til å gjøre mindre vondt med tiden.

  42. I’m sorry for your loss. I found your blog a month or so ago and devoured it, going through your entire archive, because of the inspiration it brought to my life. Never have I commented, but every day I have checked for a new post. I hope you know that you have a community here and that your work is admired! I am sending you good vibes and positive energy from the States. Take care of yourself.

    Love and light,
    Kim

  43. Dette var så leit å lese. Jeg mistet moren min til kreft jeg også, da jeg var på din alder. Jeg tror jeg kan love at det blir bedre, men det kan ta tid – lang tid. Sorg er individuelt – det finnes ingen fasit på hvor lenge man skal sørge og sorgen vil alltid være der, men den forandrer seg over tid. Heldigvis. Når tiden kommer da noen kanskje sier at det er på tide at du kommer deg videre, så skal du si at dette er noe du må lære deg å leve med. Ta vare på deg selv! Mange varme klemmer.

  44. Tusen takk for alt du har delt via bloggen gjennom årene. Ingen kan rettmessig klandre deg for denne beslutningen. Vit at dersom du velger å komme tilbake en gang i fremtiden, er vi mange som kommer deg i møte med glede.

  45. Dear Fleurette, my heart goes out to you! I hope time helps you heal. It has been a pleasure and a priviledge to read your thoughts. You are an inspiration. Hope to meet you again somewhere out there in the internet space one day!

  46. So very sorry to hear. Hope time will heal some. Thank you for being there when it mattered. You don’t know how much. Please take good care.

  47. Really sorry about your mum. Hang in there.
    Your blog is one of my go-to reads and I feel that you have truly made a difference in the blogging world. Take care and best wishes xxx

  48. Hey!
    I’ve never posted on here but have been following your blog for years. You seem like a really down to earth, good person and you really have a talent for engaging people with your writing. I hope you keep it up in some form in the future – even if it isn’t a blog! I’m really sorry to hear about your loss. Stay strong and keep doing what your love.. things will improve eventually, even if it doesn’t seem that way now. thanks for sharing your life & insights with us! – Sabrina from montreal:)

  49. I feel so sorry about your losses and I send you my best wishes. One day you will develop power out of this experience. I wish you the best – and I wish your mum will rest in peace. What you write about her sounds very nice and my theory is when you speak about the people who passed away they are still a bit alive. It is the energy of them and I felt some Mother-Energy about her when you wrote about the feeling you had, that she knew about your blog. I wish you nice memories. Be strong. Best wishes – amelie (this and mailadress is fantasy…but my words are real…)

  50. Praying for you and your family… thanks for sharing your stories and your inspiration with the world. Though I will miss your presence in the blogosphere, may you find the beauty and hope in this world through this time of healing.

  51. Noooooo, your perspective was clear and finicky but endearing, you will be terribly missed! I don’t know what to say either, I just wish you warmth and peace and stillness in your heart. I want for you something new. I hope you find it and it finds you and that it will bring you where you want to be, and maybe, just maybe back to us, your readers.

  52. I am so sorry for your loss.
    I have been following you for a couple of years now, never commented on anything, but always thought you were (and are!) an amazing person. I hope you’ll find the strength you need during these incredibly rough times, I’m thinking of you. <3

  53. Thank you for this wonderful blog. I’ve enjoyed every piece of it. I’m so sorry for your loss. Knowing you from deadfleurette shows me what an awesome mom you must have had to be such an awesome person yourself. Take care and I wish you nothing but the best.<3

  54. My heart goes out to you – I lost my dog a few months ago and I am still grieving. I cannot even imagine the depth of your pain. Thank you for the gift of this blog, and for the time you spent here – you have brightened many lives and given the gift of yourself to many. I am sending you prayers of comfort to help you on your journey as you work through your grief and make your way through the months ahead. Namaste.

  55. I’ve only just have a chance to catch up on my blog reading. Oh….Thanh…I’m so sorry. How awful. I can’t imagine what you’re going through. I can’t even imagine losing my parents. My mom had a cancer scare recently and it was awful enough but to lose someone so dear. (((hugs))). No one can fault you for taking time out.

  56. I’m so sorry to read this :( I wish you lots of love and healing, and my hopes for a future filled with all the success and happiness your mom would have wanted you to have.

  57. I’ll miss your incredibly thoughtful musings and clever writing. My heart goes out to you in so many ways. Mothers are so important (and dogs too). I hope we’ll see you again when the time is right. I know that nothing ever feels like it will be the same . . . but eventually, sadly we get used to the new normal. Sending incredibly warm thoughts.

  58. I’m sorry for everything you have been through lately, I cannot imagine how you feel. That’s very brave and nice of you to come here and say that you’re stopping this wonderful extremely well written blog, I do not think I would have bothered doing it.

    I wish you the best, take care <3 gros bisous

  59. My condolences for your loss. I cannot imagine what you are going through, I wish you all the strength possible. There is nothing that anybody can say that will truly make you feel any tiny bit better, but warm thoughts go out to you.

  60. I just stumbled on your blog and wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss. I will be praying for you in this hard time. Your post really touched me; I could feel the heartbreak you are going through. It’s good you are taking this time to mourn and focus on you…find what your heart needs at this time.

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