(via style.com)
To avoid making regrettable purchases in the future, I study my wardrobe. I have to ascertain why some purchases ripen into unceasing love and cherished wardrobe staples, whereas other items end up languishing in my closet or being donated to charity shops.
Although my wardrobe is nigh on entirely stripped of excess that don’t correspond with my style or body at all, I have evidently retained possession of a couple of items that are nearly unworn or still in its pristine condition. I don’t want to collect items that merely languish in the closet. That said, it took me a while to realize what the problem is; I tend to gravitate towards clothes that look outstanding on my ‘style icons’. However, said clothes ought to be admired from afar. I surely derive style inspiration from people I can easily emulate, as they might have the same body type, height, or taste as me. Howbeit, this is where I’m likely to trip up and fail to distinguish between a bad choice and a blessing in disguise.
It’s not that the clothes aren’t in tune with my style or my figure. The problem lies in the fact that I don’t really feel comfortable wearing those garments, which equals I don’t look nice at all – simply because, as a matter of fact, no matter how great the garments fit your proportions et cetera, clothes only look good on you if you feel bien dans sa peau (hence I rely on my uniforms). I’m aware that I can’t approximate leather jackets à la Geraldine Saglio, or short dresses à la Jeanne Damas, though I’d love to incorporate said instances into my own style. Another issue is that I sometimes don’t know if I’d feel comfortable wearing a certain clothing until I actually buy and wear it at least once. I seem to only learn through trial and error.
I want a wardrobe that consists solely of dearly loved items that give me joy to wear. Objects that I always look forward to wearing – I’m quite sure such a wardrobe is utterly attainable. I would have owned the perfect capsule wardrobe if I gathered only my beloved clothes, aka my Isabel Marant coat and boots, striped tops, et cetera. In terms of shunning blunders and building the perfect wardrobe, cracking the code is essential.
Now, the challenge is to think three times before I try to emulate some of my ‘style icons’. And I just have to continue reminding myself to admire certain items from a great distance. At least keeping a blog helps me curb my appetite to make too many unfortunate buys.
This is very true!! I recently discovered I don't like the colour brown anywhere in my wardrobe except for in the from of camel ankle boots. I also don't like vintage or anything green, red or yellow. All of which are things I have seen my 'style icons' wear.
Alex: Me too! I've never been fond of anything brown except for the suede bottines from IM and APC.
I can relate! Some of my most-loved clothes aren't even very stylish. For the past 4 years, I've worn AA raglan sweaters at least one day a week and I'm still not sick of them.I can't even narrow it down between impulse purchases and things I've bought off of my most-wanted list. Some of my most costly errors have been things I thought I would wear for a long time!
Absolutely true. I do not have the same body as those who inspire me so it is only natural that some things simply won't work on me. However I think you should have fun with clothes and experimentation might lead to something great.
"no matter how great the garments fit your proportions et cetera, clothes only look good on you if you feel bien dans sa peau"Perfectly articulated.
Cannot agree more. I have to stop buying things that are not in my favourite colour scheme because I have learned the hard way that I just don't wear them. I always get told to buy green because I have green eyes and it will make them pop… but i loathe wearing it. It looks great on others but it is not for me. Lesson learned.
Wow, I feel 100% the exact same way. I noticed that I feel highly influenced by what my style icons or other fashionable people wear, and while those exact type of things may look good on me, sometimes it's hard to know beforehand what I will *feel* good wearing. I have been struggling exactly with trying to crack the code of what those things are, without having to have those items hang around in my closet for a few wears to know it. It's a work in progress! Sometimes I think about sticking to a formula, like only crewneck sweaters or only striped tops, for example. But then something will surprise me. Like the Elali jacket … I was honestly a little scared that it would be something really beautiful that just sat in my closet. But I wore it the other day and felt great!! It has yet to be really proven, but based on the first wear, I have a very strong feeling it could become a staple. Moral of the story, I don't want to stick to one particular formula … I want to allow for those surprises while reducing mistakes … and I'm telling you, I'm *totally* not there yet!
very well put! although i wonder why it is that you can't quite feel like 'yourself' when wearing a leather jacket? i did go through a phase about a year or two ago when i got into a feminine gamine thing and ended up buying a few APC shift dresses that were nice in theory, but really off my personal style radar and ultimately never worn. i suppose it's something about a sweet dress just isn't something that i can get into. i think it's partially my impatience with the 'mannerisms' of wearing a dress/skirt that made me realize that slim pants and boots will always be go-tos for my uniform.
Yes, I totally agree! I bet one of the reasons the clothes look so good on your "style icons" is that it's true to their own style and personality. It's a reflection of them and maybe not necessarily of you. It's important to remain true to yourself and what makes you feel the most comfortable in your own skin.
- Stephanie: Me too! I love those raglan pullovers from AA. Too bad the quality isn't top-notch, all of my pullovers have shrunk in the washing machine and it's high time to get another one.- L.L: Yes, I'm always hoping that experimentation will lead to something great and unpredicted, but as is usually the case I just don't wear the clothes which is a total waste of money at times.- Anon: Cool! Thanks!- La Fille mal Gardee: I feel like green is a color which is very hard to pull off! Am I totally off base?- S: I agree with everything you say!! Formulas are great but in the long run you'll get bored and then you buy something on impulse that you'll never wear. I'm so happy that you're so satisfied with the Elali jacket. I can't wait till the weather gets warmer here so I can sport it outdoors. " I want to allow for those surprises while reducing mistakes" – that's exactly what I have in mind, and it's a tough one! Not sure if I'll ever get there. I might as well just stick to my formula, haha.. I don't mind possessing many breton shirts. I already have 3 of them and I feel like it's not enough. (And they are all navy + white).- miss sophie: There is something about leather jackets that make me look very edgy, rebellious, 'wannabe'.. I simply can't incorporate them into my style. They look so forced on me and I look awkward when wearing leather jackets. Oh, I'm glad you shared that story about the APC shift dresses because I really love the feminine gamine stuff from APC but they are items I can only admire from afar.. and I use you as a source of inspiration because we are as tall and have similar taste, haha. So it's 'good' to know that those shift dresses didn't work for you.- jennifer: Yes, you're absolutely right about that one! The clothes I feel utterly comfortable wearing are the items that I feel reflect me (such as breton shirts, I've been true to them since 9th grade). But it's really easy to fall into the trap of buying what your 'style icons' or 'style mirrors' wear because you think they will work for you as well.
You've put into words exactly what I'm going through, personal style-wise. I love reading style blogs but one of the major negatives about them is that there is just an excess of inspiration. All these beautiful photos of beautiful people are having a negative effect on my own creativity! I end up buying something because I see my favorite icons wearing it in photos on 10 blogs/websites and convince myself that I need it. I end up not feeling very comfortable wearing it because it doesn't fit into my lifestyle. For the sake of my bank account, I now always have to remind myself that if I buy a certain pair of shoes, it's not going to make me look like Yasmin Sewell.Anyway, my point is that I feel like I need to step away from all this "inspiration" and figure out what my own style is.
You make a good point, we can't solely base our purchases on what we see other people wear. They are a source of inspiration but we have to adapt it to what works for us. Big scarves are something I see look so chic on other people, but I can never seem to pull off well–they end up strangling me! And it's odd that I have quite a few, and want another more (and I rarely wear the ones I have). I think it's more because I like the patterns.
This is a great point that you make because one of the scariest things about investing in clothing is not knowing if you'll wear them later on or not. It is certainly something that makes me question my wardrobe choices and future pieces of clothing that I want to incorporate into my wardrobe. It's often hard to admit that certain clothes should only be admired from afar, but it is a very mature idea.
I once bought a dress in a very beautiful print with a nipped in waist and a full skirt – it has a vibe like that Prada dress Carey Mulligan wore at Cannes. It actually fitted quite well and I got compliments for it, but I only wore it twice and gave up because it just always felt like I was in costume. And the same goes for the shift dresses mentioned by miss sophie: they just don't feel right on me. But sometimes there's no way of realising that unless you make that mistake.
Well said. It's all about feeling comfortable in your own skin and knowing what works for you. I think it takes time and a bit of trial and error to find your own signature style.
Like the picture.
Tror me alle har det på samme måte. Det er mange ting eg kan beundre på andre, men som eg ikje føler meg komfortabel i, også er det også mange klær som rett og slett ikkje passer til kroppsformen min sjølv om det er nydelig på modellene. Slik er det berre, trist men sant ;-)
Du har noen gode poenger her. En viss grad av prøving og feiling er nok nødvending for å finne ut hvorfor man av og til føler at noe blir helt feil, selv om både farger og passform stemmer og man i utgangspunktet liker stilen. Jeg har noen sånne plagg i skapet ennå, plagg som jeg vet jeg ser bra ut i og som jeg alltid får komplimenter for når jeg har dem på meg, men som rett og slett ikke føles som "meg".
I've also fallen for this trap in the past, only to learn that it doesn't matter how good it looks on another person. It doesn't automatically translate into you looking good too whilst wearing the same thing. I think one can avoid such mistakes by getting to know your body type and (as you already mentioned) knowing in what you feel comfortable and in what not. Good post :-)
This is all so true. My biggest problem is that I don't like black; I don't own black shoes, trousers, coats; one black bag, which I think I enjoy as contrast. So many iconic people wear head-to-toe black beautifully, but I can't do it. For everything other people own in black, I own in grey,brown or navy. I think once I realised this, it made it much easier to shop; unless I really fall in love with it and think it will fit into my wardrobe, black just isn't an option. This feels like such a perverted thing to admit to such a minimalist group!
I entirely agree. I've been mulling over a very similar set of thoughts on my blog this week too. It's all to easy to fall into the trap of cherry picking the stand out items as seen on your icons and people whose style you admire hugely, without properly considering if they can ever work on you as well. It is a very difficult thing to master I think, admiring from afar and managing to resist and recognise that it just might not work as well on you. I think it perhaps comes with time, as more goes on you get to know yourself and your style better and better and don't have that rush of lust towards, oh I don't know, Prada Banana earrings, like you might have done when you were younger. :)But equally, as we all know, sometimes these purchases go on to be the most loved items you own, because of what they represent to you. An ongoing battle! xx
I guess you really need to clear your mind and know your body very well to avoid those error buys. (I'm not there yet. :() To be honest to yourself about what looks good on you. As well you have to know clearly how you want others to perceive you. It's very hard not to get 'inspired' by others, by icons, etc. as we constantly are flooded by photos of them wearing those amazing pieces. Quoting Elisabeth Gilbert (sorry, but this saying was really good ;)) – better live your own life imperfectly than to imitate someone else's perfectly. I think that's the goal!
I agree. I have a beautiful Acne leather jacket but, for some reason I don't wear it. I'm just not a leather jacket person – but I can't bear to give it away. It's so perfect! (But maybe perfect for someone else…)
Wow I can't believe it, you exactly put on words my thoughts of the last few weeks!I want to stop buying impulsively, save money for something that I really love and ideally I'll cherish forever (my recent target is a black Mulberry Bayswater bag… I'll have to save at least 150 euros a month in order to buy it before I become old… but I can do it! :D) and especially I HAVE TO stop being tricked by what's so good looking on other people, like you said.Yep, I'm on a mission too! Let us know how yours is going in a while! ;-)Al-The Red Dot-
You are right,decoding your personal style or the style of people you like is essential.Then you have to try the parts and see for yourself what fits.When you are sure you can buy sky high quality.It will be with you forever!
It takes awhile to figure out the 'happy clothes', doesn't it? I find that I am happiest in slim ankle pants, a tailored jaket and maryjane heels. Throw in a striped top, and I'm in heaven, satorially speaking. I guess that's how people develop a style…they dress in what makes them happy and people notice.
Ah, but isn't that the point of fashion? To get you to buy as much as possible by making you feel like you need that item only to return home with it and find it's not you at all? I've fallen for this many times. I'm working on it and truly considering each piece before I buy it. I only want a wardrobe that reflects me. :]
I assume you get this a lot (or i know.. from reading you comments) but I had to tell you how much I enjoy reading your blog. It is so cool and professional. You seem so smart and wise beyond your years! All the best!
I totally agree, am increasingly starting to feel like a perfect wardrobe is a work in progress, which is maybe why older men and women look more chic than younger people. They know what works for them. I have become much better in my buying habits, but am now trying to refine my wardrobe, giving away some items one at a time, and finding ways to make other items work for me. The process is fun :) and it seems to be working. I find my shoe collection is pretty perfect, still working on the rest.
Finally. This post has helped me answer the question of why I end up buying certain things but rarely wear them. It's exactly what you said: I like these items because of how they look on my style icons which is what lead me to purchase them, but I haven't yet eased into being comfortable wearing them myself very often. These items just end up sitting in my closet, and then I end up donating them to charity, giving them away, or reselling. I would "justify" these purchases by telling myself that I WOULD look great in them, as great as my icons, but to echo what you said about feeling "bien dans sa peau," comfort and confidence go hand in hand. Without comfort, you cannot have confidence, and without confidence you don't look as good.
- AM: Haha, you're absolutely right. That's why I've pared down the selection of blogs I read as well as I no longer consume fashion magazines.- Pret a Porter P: Isn't it too sultry to wear scarves where you live? And I agree with you.. but you only learn by making some mistakes.- Isabella: Me too! It's a process but a tough one if you don't want to have a wardrobe jam-packed with stuff you don't intend to wear. I've even started questioning the clothes I already have, because most of them are high maintenance and I really don't have time to hand wash them carefully, so I end up wearing only the low maintenance clothes. And that makes shopping for clothes I love even harder.- lin: Exactly. But making mistakes over and over again isn't wallet-friendly either.. so I have to try to find a way experiment, surprise myself and learn more about myself without spending too much. Fortunately it's very easy to re-sell your regrettable buys nowadays, but it's such a hassle to do that. I prefer to master the "I want to allow for those surprises while reducing mistakes".- Lindsay K: True, true! Although I feel like I have a grip on my style and preferences, I still make blunders now and then.. hopefully I won't repeat those errors.- Susanna: Åneiånei, jeg har sluttet å se på bilder av modeller fordi jeg vet at klærne de kler seg i aldri kommer til å se bra ut på meg. Jeg har heldigvis funnet noen "stilikoner" som er like høye som meg og som har lik smak, og det hjelper.. men så må man være veldig kritisk også.- MyFavouriteThings: Sånt er kjedelig.. føles ut som om man har på seg en kostyme da!- I am your lung: You're completely right, and from now on I'm going to be more critical. Jeanne Damas is one of my inspirations because she has incredible taste + it's easy to emulate her as her clothes are accessible, but on the other hand she wears her clothes with confidence and it's apparent that she is comfortable in her own skin – something not everyone can adopt by emulating her. – Kate: Wow, I've never heard of anyone who doesn't own black items or wear black clothing. But creds for you!!- Olivia: An ongoing battle indeed! I've read your post and it was really good and I've been thinking the same as of late.- Ginta: You're right. But I do think that being influenced by other people cultivates one's style.. but you just have to be aware of the lines, and those lines can be blurry at times.- badaude: Sounds like you're keeping your jacket for a different self. That's what I did with a jacket I just re-sold. I kept it for more than two years only to hope that a future self would come into existence and all of a sudden look dashing in that jacket.- Al: We should keep each other accountable here!! – Angie: Word!- TJP: I absolutely agree with you. Switch the Mary janes with my boots from IM and I too would be in heaven (sartorially speaking). – Aryn: Yes yes, but I feel like I'm way over that stage but yet I make mistakes on another dimension. – konsum: Tusen hjertelig takk! – Ammu: I find the process both fun and tough at the same time. I can't wait till I'm 30 and totally aware of what works and what doesn't work for me.. but I guess that will change soon as my body is changing, and especially after pregnancy, haha.- Jane A: You're completely right!! I too would warrant these purchases in the same manner!
It would be GREAT if you could make a post about working girls outfit!! please please please :)
Great post. This is the same process I've been learning from over the past year or so. I'm finally learning to picture myself in whatever it is that has caught my eye, in my own real life situations and imagine how I would feel. I need to feel like my true self. So now I'm making fewer mistakes. Also, you influenced me so strongly in an earlier post in which you said everything you have is your favorite. That is my goal.
While I agree that falling into the trap of someone else's style shadow is frustrating, I have to disagree with your attitude about trial and error. I know you are wary of making poor purchasing choices: they violate a lot of your personal philosophies and are just not economical. However, I believe that experience is the only way to really know what works. Our style icons would agree. If you see their past styles, they were not always so put-together; they all had awkward phases and some are not documented because they were pre-style stardom. They evolve too, but that is not without a high frequency of execution. Granted, I am not a minimalist and honestly, I think you might find some of my attempts "quasi-minimalism" insulting. XD But, maybe in the same way I am trying to be more inwardly critical about my wardrobe (as opposed to seeking additions as a means to better craft it) from what I've learned from your posts, maybe a humble opinion from one of your "maximalist" readers might prove useful to your quest. Basically, don't shy away from buying and trying. You can always return it, cash or store credit or what have you. In fact, I find that when I don't, it's like I'm putting off a commitment and I won't actually think about it as hard. When I have the item sitting right in front of me, I can see it in the context of my life, pretend with it, and it makes it easier to say "I do."I hope that was not overstepping my boundaries and I apologize if my tone was didactic or insulting; I only intended it to be an opinion that would hopefully push you in the direction you want to go. I know I'm always looking for that push in the face of indecision. On a slight tangent, let me just say that I really appreciate you actually taking the time to write meaningful posts. I think it's too easy these days to ignore prose and expression through words in favor of images we didn't even create. Your words, even the shortest and most simple of posts, make me reconsider my own and trying to find a balance between text and visuals. -D.
Jennifer: "I bet one of the reasons the clothes look so good on your "style icons" is that it's true to their own style and personality. It's a reflection of them and maybe not necessarily of you."that's the hard part – how to find YOU. one thing that's helped me is to cultivate the art of being able to appreciate and admire other people's styles without feeling like it has anything to do with me. but that is harder to do when you are in a place where you feel like you need inspiration! i'm 49, and i have to say that 'the perfect wardrobe' is a great idea, and you can get pretty darn close, but – this world just isn't perfect. so there will very likely always be gaps…at the same time, the more you find out about yourself, your priorities, your life, the closer you can get and the easier it is to adapt to changes. and change'll happen – i hit 40, and suddenly things that had worked for 20 years just flopped! my 'go-to, never fail' lipsticks just sat flat on my face, shapes i'd worn for years looked weird….so i had to start a little from scratch. that's where having experience in * how * to find your style is invaluable! good luck, and thank you for an interesting 'kindred spirit' blog! steph
It's true, the heat doesn't let me express myself to the fullest sartorially. lol! But mistakes do come with the territory of finding what works for you, but also so does the fine tuning. There are outfits that I know never to wear again, where there are others I've been wearing some variation of for the last 7 years.
all very important realizations and musings. confidence is, at the end, foundational, but a willingness to adventure and move beyond the comforts of one's skin and the clothes on it is also very important.http://dallianceswithsuitsandskirts.blogspot.com/
great post :) I wrote on a similar topic not long ago! I have purchased items purely because I have seen them look great on others, or have seen them coveted by several bloggers. In this case, I ignored my own style and as a result they sit unworn in my closet. I really hope I one day have the wardrobe you are speaking of- where I would not want to replace a thing.
Again and again I'm amazed by your thoughts on and reflections over fashion. It's so true – the hard part is to only look at what suits yourself instead of reflecting your your own looks at style icons. Be true to your own style and don't cheat on it.
Great post! I used to have that weakness called "impulse shopping". Tbe result was usually the same: struggling with a lack of money and ending up with too many unuseful clothes in my wardrobe.Luckily I am getting smarter and smarter each day and now I think 10x before I use my credit card:)I don't buy that much anymore and what's important I always choose quality over quantity.
I try to think about this as well, it's sometimes hard to tell if you'll truly love the garnment, or if it should just have been viewed from afar. I've made so many mistakes when it comes to this, but I'm trying to get better and trust my instincts.
You're a genious
I'm not into accessories, but whenever I see inspirational pictures I tend to buy them, and then when I try, IT just not me. so sad.
You are so right. I really have to think more about my wardrobe. I've got plenty of things and I keep on buying without even ''loving'' the pieces.
Dear Deadfleurette, follow your block daily and I must say, thank you for continuous inspiration. I am wondering what your take is on jewellery? I have grown a little tired of the statement necklaces but have been more inspired by recent street style pics of smaller delicate gold necklaces. What are your thoughts?Thanks!
It's great that you're streamlining your wardrobe to the essentials! For me, its less of wanting to consume less, but inevitably, maybe its us growing up, I'm starting to lose interest in certain styles that maybe aren't so "me"? I'm wanting less and less, and maybe more specific on what I want. But I do still have a tendancy to experiment. I guess it's quite fortunate that we have blogs… in a way we're facing fashion and thinking about it through so many seasons… its kinda perfect for getting to know ourselves, keeping track of ourselves and refining. Ps. It was really sweet of you to drop us a line.. (our new post is kinda, indirectly inspired by you, and maybe the tfs blogger thread.)
I was wondering… it's off topic but i was wondering what you though about Isabel Marant Fall 11? I fell in love with Isabel Marant again after 2 season :D
I have also decided over the last year or two to embrace a much more minimalist approach to consumption, and life in general. But I must admit I'm still at the beginning of my journey of finding my uniform, much behind you, which is why your blog inspire me a lot to keep on the right path! I have also recently started a blog, hopefully you can find time to take a look and give me feedback, I would love it!xxhttp://histoiresdunboudoir.blogspot.com
I have don this literally SO many times. I need to stop doing it – it's not good at all, and means that I have a closet full of things that are good in theory but not in practice.hey, any chance you'll be in paris in july? i'm heading over again and would love to catch up! X
love this post I totally agree with UxxAvenue Mode